Okeydoke, so above “did” I’ve got “had done” as an alt suggestion mostly because I’m questioning the tense in a recollective indirect discourse (which is when the narrative is simulating an internal monologue but remains outside the character, sort of looking over her shoulder).
That single bracketed underline after “her” — [_] — is my way of telling myself that I want a one-syllable word here. The sentence has a certain meter, and that’s partially why I’m looking at that tense change and that added one-syllable word. (If I read it out loud with the corrections the preferred meter becomes apparent: “How much of what transpired had done so through her blank coercion?”)
I also welcome the opportunity to have a word that modifies “coercion” by rendering it either more specific or more evocative. It’s another example of how to leave your fingerprints on a page: Something like “dread coercion” or “glad coercion” (though neither of those is gonna go here) helps render a worldview, combines words not normally put in sequence to convey a more unique sensibility.
After “It would be terrible to be her” I’ve inserted a bunch of stuff to elaborate on the point, because the narrative is referring back to an exchange that’s a while back, and while it’s nice to think your readers have photographic memories (and to be honest, sometimes I do rely on an ability to remember an image or a certain sequence of words. The technical term for this is “trust”), when it comes to more abstract or conceptual details it’s sometimes a good idea to reinforce their presence when they show up again. I note that I’ve set a three-syllable marker [_ _ _] above “Whatever,” which tells me that I want another word besides “Whatever” here. The arrow at the end of the insert means I’ve continued the insertion on the back of the page.
A long time ago I adhered fairly strictly to proofreader’s marks and proper manuscript format regarding corrections. Now I realize that these notes are to me and no one else, and it made sense to evolve a kind of shorthand that would help me on revision. I use syllable markers and placeholders (if I bracket words in the MS it means I’m not sure about the words here and I should look for a better or more precise way of saying what the bracketed words say. Sometimes I redline), marginal notations like “awk” for “awkwardly phrased” or “cons” for “consistency” (meaning I need to search the MS to be sure the indicated details are consistent throughout). And so forth.